To Love the Alpha Who Wears My Mate’s Heart Chapter 05
He loomed over me, his voice laced with accusation.
I kept my face blank and answered flatly, “Birth control pills.”
Ryan wasn’t stupid. He’d already known the answer. But
hearing me say it out loud still made him sway on his feet.
“Amelia. So that’s why we never had pups. You’ve been on
the pill this whole time? Do you have any idea how much
the pack has been pressuring me? I covered for you every
single time to keep them off your back! I didn’t even mind
you having been marked by another man! But you, Amelia?
What about you?”
He looked gutted, his face deathly pale. His fingers dug
into my shoulders, his forehead pressed against mine, his
voice shaking.
“Amelia. Why are you doing this to me? Don’t you love me?”
If I didn’t love him, why did I care about his body? Why did
I press my lips to his chest when his heart hurt, begging
the Moon Goddess to keep him safe?
I’d been acting for so long that even he’d started to believe it.
But the truth was, I’d never loved him. He was just a vessel
for the love I couldn’t let go.
I took the photo from his hand and carefully smoothed
out the creases. The man in it had his back to the camera,
busy in the kitchen. His face wasn’t visible.
That was the last meal Matthew ever made me before he
went to the hospital.
Butter steak. He’d turned the heat up too high, and it
came out black as coal.
It tasted bitter. But I’d loved every bite.
I swallowed the ache in my throat and tucked the photo into my shirt.
“You’re smart enough to figure it out,” I said, touching his
eyes. I shook my head, almost pitying him. “You do have his
eyes. A little. But the moment you started snapping at
me, you stopped being anything like him.”
“The living could never measure up to the dead.”
Matthew Clarke. My true fated mate.
In the years right after he died, I fell apart. Ryan pulled me
out of the river I’d jumped into. His eyes reminded me of
Matthew’s. I could even catch a whiff of Matthew’s scent on him.
At first, I thought the Moon Goddess was giving me a second chance.
But over time, Ryan became less and less like him. And I
finally accepted that my Matthew was gone for good.
Ryan caught the tear trailing down my cheek and tasted it.
Bitter. Salty.
All that man ever left me was pain. Why should he still
matter after all these years?
Ryan’s nails bit into his palm. Something raw and jealous
flickered across his face. His voice came out hoarse.
“Amelia. Did you ever like me, even a little?”
I looked at the hurt in his eyes and laughed. I patted his
cheek like he was a child.
“Not even a little.”
“Did
you think of me when you were overseas celebrating
Mia’s birthday? Who are you putting on this lovesick act
for now? For an Omega from a broke pack, was it worth it?”
With every question I threw at him, he shrank a little
more.
His eyes went red. He grabbed my face and bit down on
my lips.
I shoved him off hard and slapped him across the cheek.
“Amelia! If you never loved me, why the hell did you
pretend? Do you have any idea how hard it’s been, trying
to break every habit I built around you?”
He’d finally gotten what he wanted–Mia was back.
But in the middle of the night, his hand still reached out to
cover my stomach on instinct. Every time, he found nothing there.
Mia told him he was falling for me.
He’d laughed it off. “No way. It’s just habit.”
He’d get over it. Eventually.
But his chest felt hollow. Like someone had carved a piece out of it.
“Amelia,” he said, his voice cracking. “Can’t you just keep
pretending? Whatever you want I’ll give it to you.”
I stared at him, lost.
“But Ryan… all I want is him. Can you bring him back?”
Lightning flashed outside, bleaching his face pale and ugly.
His grip on me slowly loosened.
“Amelia, was I really that much like him?”
I shook my head.
“Not anymore. Not for a long time.”